Why something you don’t want persists.

Consider this…

When there is something in your life that won’t go away, despite your greatest efforts, could it be that this thing is serving you in some way?

Of course this is not conscious.  This “thing” is something you are working hard at getting rid of.  I get it.  It sounds crazy to think there would be any part of you that could be benefitting from it.  Right?

What if there were messages in this “thing” that you weren’t able to see on your own?

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Using myself as an example…

My skin has been a source of struggle off and on for many years of my life.  I have spent countless hours and huuuuge amounts of energy (and money) trying to resolve it. Creams. Potions. Oils. Diet Changes. Facials. Supplement Protocols. Meditation. Tapping. Journaling. Cleansing.

The issue still persists.  It is an on and off battle.   I have been trying to figure it out and get to the bottom of it for years.  What causes it?  What makes it better? What makes it worse?  It must be hormonal.  No, it is my gut.  Or maybe it is all emotional.  Maybe I should try this?  Maybe the magic answer is that? My head spins in overwhelm thinking about it all.

With all that I have tried over the years and having the issue come and go, I have had to get real about what is going on behind the scenes.  I asked myself, in what ways is my skin struggle serving me? What is it trying to tell me?  What am I not willing to look at? This is what I discovered…

10 Ways My Acne is Serving Me:

  1. It gives me something to focus my time and energy on. (a pattern of the need to fix and change myself, and have something to make wrong)
  2. It gives me an excuse to hide. (It is not safe to be seen, exposed.)
  3. It distracts me from building my business (meaning doing things that scare me like being seen, speaking, putting myself at risk of judgment)
  4. It gives me a reason to avoid dating (I want a relationship, yet I am really comfortable being on my own.)
  5. It is safer to be rejected because of my skin than because of who I am.
  6. I get attention and pity from others.
  7. It gives me a reason to be angry with my body. (My body is my greatest teacher.)
  8. It proves I am a failure. (another excuse to not go for what I want)
  9. It keeps me safe from my power and success. (I don’t know how to handle what comes with success.)
  10. It keeps me safe from the discomfort of receiving (love, abundance, support, praise).

Kind of shocking, right?

It takes serious honesty with oneself to see truth like this. Often times what we think is our biggest obstacle, can actually be a cover up for something deeper.

We may think, ” I can’t -X- because I have -Y- going on”.  When the truth is, if we had the courage to -X-, -Y- would resolve gracefully.

Am I saying I think I am 100% creating my acne? No.  Yet, I believe there is a significant mental-emotional component to most health/body concerns.  There are also messages and lessons  available in every struggle we encounter.

Potential Emotional Significance of Acne:

  • Suppressed anger and/or guilt
  • Self-rejection, lack of self-acceptance
  • Refusal to accept oneself as is
  • Fear of showing up in the world fully self-expressed
  • Fear of humiliation and/or embarrassment
  • Sign of an internal emotional cleansing process

Acne offers the opportunity for inner healing related to self-worth, inner beauty, identity, self-love, self-expression, purpose, and trust.

There is a physical piece to this as well.  Although a topic to dig into on another day and time, I just recently got diagnosed with EBV (epstein barr virus).  Having this virus can impact various organ systems and end up wreaking havoc in the body.  My EBV has buried itself in my liver which has severely inhibited my ability to detox.  With the skin being a major detox organ, it makes sense my body is presenting with skin erruptions and irritation. The liver also plays a huge role in hormonal balance.  Skin issues manifest when hormones are out of whack.  My favorite resource for EBV and chronic illness is the Medical Medium – check it out!

We are whole beings.  All aspects of who we are can come into play with struggles around our bodies. For me, there are both emotional/mental and physical aspects going on.

So what am I doing about all this?

Step 1:  Acceptance.

First, do an inventory of all the things you think having this thing (whatever it is for you) means about you.

Some of mine…

“I am a failure.”

“No one will trust my help.”

” I am unlovable.”

Then step back and explore those beliefs.  See that none of them are true.  Having “it” doesn’t mean anything about you or who you are.  It is important to see the meaning you attach to the issue you have. This is key is finding acceptance.

My acne doesn’t make me a failure, or unable to help others.  It doesn’t make me unlovable.  All of those thoughts are untrue.

Fighting it only adds fuel to the fire.  It keeps the battle alive.  Being ok with where you are is key in moving forward.

I approach my skin struggle like this: This is what is going on with me right now.  And it is ok.  I see the gifts in it.  I see the messages.  I see the opportunity for deep healing. It doesn’t define me.  It is not who I am.

Step 2:  Own it.

My skin condition doesn’t have to stop me.  It doesn’t have to hold me back, or be in my way.

Owning it means being honest.  It means sharing it, allowing it to be seen. Standing tall in the face of what sometimes feels excruciating. There is nothing to hide.

Owning your body exactly as it is right now gives you access to incredible power. 

From this place of acceptance and ownership, I am doing BOTH the inner and out work synergistically.

Internal/Emotional/Mental:  I am using EFT tapping and meditation/divine prayer to release the fears and old patterns.  I am journaling to go deeper and process each of the 10 pay-off’s and diving into the emotional significances. It is a journey.

External/Physical:  I am taking action despite my fears/reasons/excuses (like writing this blog!).  I am working with an ND for support and guidance in detoxing, boosting my immune system, and dealing with the virus.  I am also following many of the Medical Medium’s recommendations. (*a whole other blog on nourishment, supplements, lifestyle, detox, etc)

I am wondering …

What is going on for you that you do not want?

Extra weight? Health problems?  An addiction?

My invitation to you is to explore what ways that thing is serving you? What messages does it have for you?

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What benefits are you getting from it?
  • Do you use it to avoid something?  If so what, and why?
  • Does it prove you are right about something?  What does it prove about you? or life? or someone else?
  • Do you get to be angry about it? a victim to it?
  • Does it keep you tied to the past and stopped in moving forward in life?
  • Is it keeping you safe from something?

We are all here to grow and learn in earth school.  Many of us have our bodies as the university in which we are enrolled.  We all have a unique curriculum in which our souls signed up for. Our heads want to fight it, change it, resist it.  Our hearts think it is all beautiful and perfect.

Peace comes when you align with your heart <3

Can you relate to this? What have you discovered in taking a deeper look at your struggles? I would LOVE to continue this conversation with you.  Contact me at faith@faithshevlin.com =)

Much Love,

Faith <3

 

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