Neurosensory tools vs avoidance coping strategies

They are not the same thing.

Addressing the body/nervous system directly, rather than turning to avoidance or escape strategies, is a much more effective and lasting way to manage survival stress.

When you use avoidance coping, you’re not actually addressing the root of your stress response or the trigger causing it. Escaping or distraction may provide temporary relief, but it doesn’t address the biological reaction that stress has in your body. This approach leaves the nervous system in a heightened state of alert, which over time worsens and takes its toll. It also often leads to guilt, shame, or even addiction, creating more stress and anxiety in the long run.

Directly addressing your nervous system’s response to perceived threat/stress helps you build resilience and self-control. Learning neurosensory skills to attend to your biology supports the body and mind in returning to a state of safety and homeostasis. Using body based tools, over time you develop a greater capacity to face stressors without feeling overwhelmed or resorting to avoidance.

Addressing your nervous system helps you tune into and understand your body’s signals, making you more aware of your emotions and stress patterns. This allows you to respond with wisdom rather than reacting impulsively. You can think more clearly, make better decisions and approach challenges with the fruits of the Spirit.

Maladaptive/avoidant coping strategies: used to escape, numb and disconnect. They attempt to cover up or avoid one's dysregulation. They are unproductive and don't do anything to support coming back to safety. Examples include overeating, binging TV, scrolling your phone, over-working, drinking/smoking, intense exercise often or anything to avoiding what’s going in your body’s felt-sense.

Neurosensory or somatic tool/exercises: used to be present in and attuned to what’s happening in your body. They are resolve and complete the stress response. Using such tools over time can increase one's capacity for life's ups and downs. They signal safety to the body and brain, and lead one to spending more time in ventral vagal (aka social engagement, safe-alert-connected) and less time in fight-flight-freeze-shutdown. See other posts for examples of these tools.

The main difference is being present and embodied. The same activity can be either, depending on whether you are present and in your body or disengaged and disassociated. For example, running and being present in the body, feeling your muscles and breath, taking in the sun, air and environment is a nervous system tool to discharge sympathetic charge. Running can also be used to numb or escape emotions or stress which is unproductive and an avoidance coping strategy.

Calm after the storm

If you find youself often irritated, frustrated, angry, or annoyed then you need to discharge, release the sympathetic charge in your body BEFORE trying to soothe or calm down.

That flight/flight response needs to be completed through action, mobilization and then you can move back to a regulated state.

Ways to discharge the sympathetic include jumping, running, stomping your feet, punching/kicking, squeezing a towel or clothing, push ups, mini tantrum, pounding, yelling or growling, tensing your fist or grabbing something tightly. The key to doing this is in small doses and must stay connected/present in your body. Less is more. You don't want to overwhelm your body. Feel the power in your body and stay embodied as you release it through action/movement. Of course this needs to be done safely without harm towards anyone or anything.

THEN, once you feel the sympathetic charge is gone, do some soothing/ calming exercises such as slow swaying, self hold or butterfly hug, make "vooooo" sound, havening, orienting.

The trap of fixing

You do not need to be fixed. You are not a problem to be solved. You need to be loved, seen, cared for exactly as you are now.

Instead of desperately trying to feel "ok" by all the various coping strategies, apply love, presence and grace to not feeling ok. Essentially, be ok not feeling ok.

God's love and kindness leads to repentance, turning from patterns of self-condemnation, shame, people pleasing, worry and toxic guilt.